Review: Quiet by Susan Cain

age: adult
genre: nonfiction, psychology
rating: 7/8 tentacles

I think it's a pretty well-established idea that the U.S.A. is an extroverted country with extroverted ideals and extroverted societal expectations.  What role, then, do introverts have in this extroverted world?  Many guides exist that claim they can coach introverts to participate less stressfully in extroverted activities, like networking or extensive socializing.  A lot of these guides are nothing more than advice on how to act more extroverted.  How to fake it.  Susan Cain's Quiet is a refreshing and much needed account of how introverts can find their place in society while remaining true to themselves and without stretching their personality and comfort zone in order to feel normal or be accepted.

Quiet contains many stories of people struggling to fit together the knowledge of who they are and the knowledge of who they grew up believing they were supposed to be.  It also contains stories of people who live in places with introverted ideals (I'm thinking of moving) and how their way of life and self view differs from introverts trapped in extroverted societies.  In these stories, we can see how qualities often looked down on in this society (reservedness, preference for small social gatherings and more abstract conversations, caution) are valued and even sought after.  We might see pieces of ourselves that we've learned to hide celebrated as an ideal.

This book makes me think about how eager everybody is to force their own values and expectations on others, with little empathy or regard for alternate perceptions or ways of life. It's sad, really. Books like Quiet and people like Susan Cain are steps in the direction of understanding and compromise between the different personality types, so I salute her for that.  I recommend this book to introverts looking for some self reflection, self-validation, the strength to live on their terms and to extroverts looking to understand their introverted friends.